After meaningful conversations with friends, I always come always feeling inspired; reflective and motivated. The same can be said for this blog. I get to listen back to the interviews, relive the memories, pick apart what people have said and ask the whole world to celebrate them with me. Once each post has gone live, I am thrilled that more people get to read about these incredible people and get a glimpse into what makes them human.
I invite you all into an open letter to each of my guests after their final blog has been posted. I want to outline what their slices of honesty mean to me and how they better help me to understand people. If nothing else, see this as a bookmark in their story.
Dear Hayley,
I wanted to preface all of this by saying I know just how hard you find it to talk about how you feel. It means the world that you let me open up these conversations with you and, even though they were challenging, share them with the world. The things you have to say are helpful and insightful to so many and pushing yourself past the point of comfort is how, I believe, we understand our humanity better.
That’s one of the reasons I wrote “brave” as one of your traits. It’s probably a word you wouldn’t ascribe to yourself but I truly see you as one of my bravest friends. The things you have done – from joining the army to moving to the NHS, from soldering (literally) through a rocky upbringing to learning how to cope with the loss of loved ones – are mighty and you have tackled each one with confidence and bravery. The world really could do with a lot more of your pizzazz and shine when it comes to adversity. I am truly inspired by your bravery and I only hope to emulate it in several areas of my life.
Having been close for so long, and dealing with so many hardships together (you were my first kiss after all…), I feel we are cemented. I might not see you for months at a time but, when we reconnect, it is exactly that – an honest re-connection. You make so much time for the ones you love and that is beautiful to see. Maybe you hit the nail on the head when you said that the lack of motherly love you received as a child has meant you are more of a mother figure to us all now. A boozy, loud, blunt mother but one we love all the same. You look after everyone in your life without even realising it and that is something you cannot teach. I am learning to be more considerate outside of my professional responsibility and you are a great role model for that.
You and I are both very hard on ourselves but I hope that after reading your interview back, you realise just how special and important you are. Sometimes it takes something like this to really understand how other people see you and what they admire. Nobody is frightened of emotions or vulnerability and knowing that we love each other in the same way has allowed me to reflect on how I open up to other people. You are always so honest but somehow manage to take feelings into consideration before you react. That takes a lot of practice but, through this friendship, you show me exactly how to do that.
It was a genuine pleasure to talk to you about these things and I don’t want you going away thinking you are boring or selfish. You are sure of yourself – you know what you like – and you are unapologetic about that. And nobody really knows the meaning of their life: it’s just great to see you working toward figuring out who you really are. I couldn’t admire you any more than I already do.
You, of all people, know what it means to be; Hayley.
“There are emotions in there which get triggered by certain things. But I don’t like to face those triggers because I get upset and I don’t want to come across as an emotional person.”.
At the end of her interview, Hayley lets us know about her inability to pick a song to listen to, the beauty of women and just how many challenges she has overcome in her life so far.
Hayley’s pronouns are “she/her”.
What is your biggest fear? How do you prevent this from taking over?
It’s the little silly things. I don’t like frogs. They scare the shit out of me. I was traumatised by a frog. I remember when I was younger that there was a frog in the garden which jumped up my shorts. That traumatised me. Preventing it? I don’t even like to go near tadpoles or frog spawn. The only time I’ll go near a pond is at the zoo in that weird amphibian zone. I don’t like to get close but maybe I’ll have a look.
What is something you really want to do/start that you aren’t doing? Why aren’t you doing it? What can you put into place to achieve it?
I’ve always said I want to do hill walking. Like climbing mountains. Why haven’t I done it? COVID. Everyone uses that as an excuse because I could have done it a long time ago. I’m really bad at map reading. I know I have the ability to do it but I’d like someone to do it with me. I need to get going and practice building up to walking long distances. I need to do it and embrace it.
What type of outlook on life do you have? Are you naturally positive? Where do you think that comes from?
I’d like to say I’m quite a positive person but everyone has dips in their emotions. Maybe is it my upbringing? I’m a people pleaser and I like an easy life. Just get on and do it. I don’t like to make things challenging. Why would do something hard if there is an easy option? Why would you walk a mountain if there’s a flat route?
What book/album/film/artist has changed your life? What did you take from it?
I loved Harry Potter but that’s not real. I read the books then watched the films. I guess everybody wants to be a wizard secretly! Harry, Hermione and Ron – you want to be part of that group. Everybody loves Harry! Actually, I read Tina Turner’s book and loved it. It was really good learning about her background. Her abuse from Ike was awful to hear about. She’s a black woman who grew up in Nashville where she was discriminated against constantly and she had this drive to get her name big anyway. And now look at her! She had cancer and so much else happened. She survived and fought then got into Buddhism and that was her focus. I thought after reading it that maybe meditation is a good thing.
What song should we listen to whilst reading about you?
Everyone knows I’m a big fan of Dolly. But also Tina Turner “Proud Mary”. People would be disappointed if I didn’t choose Dolly though. [Ed: “This isn’t for other people though.”] Is it something from a musical? Dolly had this rags to riches story though. And I secretly love country music. But Miley Cyrus as well! Can you not pick it for me?
Name five beautiful things in life. Tell me why you think they are beautiful.
Dogs. When you’re out and about, you look at them and they make you happy. Some of them are really beautiful. You can watch them running around, enjoying life and it puts a smile on your face. Family. Friends, obviously. Scenery. I love holidays and seeing new places. Girls. You know when you see a really beautiful girl? That’s amazing. Maybe I say that from envy.
If you could sum up your life so far in one word, what would it be and why?
What came into my mind straight away is “challenging”. That’s because I faced different challenges in so many different areas of my life. I had to make my dinner otherwise I went hungry. I had to wash my clothes otherwise I didn’t have any. Joining the army was challenging. Coming out of the army was a challenge. I had to adjust to civilian life afterwards. Going into work with children was challenging at the start but here I am 6 years later.
What do you think the meaning of your life is?
I’m approaching 30 and getting older so having children is still a decision to be made in my head. For some people, they really want to be a parent. But the meaning of my life? I don’t actually know.
After talking through all of this, what have you learnt about yourself or your life? What do you feel the need to reflect on?
I found these questions difficult because it makes you think about yourself and how you are. It is like interview questions: your positives and negatives. It’s made me think about why I do things and why I think a certain way. I know I’m a moody bitch and a bit selfish but this has shown me I’m not made of stone. There are emotions in there which get triggered by certain things. But I don’t like to face those triggers because I get upset and I don’t want to come across as an emotional person.
My reflection of Hayley’s interview will go live tomorrow.
You can see more of what Hayley has been up to on her Instagram.
“ I don’t want to step up and do the next thing. Why do I have to?“
In this middle eight of Hayley’s interview, she touches on what love means to her, the importance of teamwork in her job and how seeing her grandfather ill inspired her to look after more people.
Hayley’s pronouns are “she/her”.
What does a regular day in Hayley’s mind look like?
It depends what mood I’m in. I guess I’m positive and my mind feels… colourful? Is that the right word to use? I’m a people pleaser really.
What part do relationships and love play in your daily life?
Well there’s Tom, of course. 5 and a half years we’ve been together. We all know what I was like when I was younger! With previous boyfriends, I always said I was in love but I wasn’t committed and I don’t think it was love. They say when you find the “one” you just know and this is it. I’ve never met anyone like him. I think he is a very genuine, caring person and always puts people first. He’s very thoughtful and sometimes I look at him and think “I want to be more like you”. I know I’m a bit of a selfish person, I know I am, but he isn’t and I want to be a bit more like that.
What aspect of friendship do you value most?
It’s all about banter, isn’t it? If you can have a joke with people and know they won’t take it offensively, that’s great. And I love it when you don’t see someone for months but you pick back up where you left off like nothing is different.
What do you do to make a positive impact on those/the world around you?
Again, I go back to being selfish. I don’t think I do anything. Oh no! Does that make me a bad person? I give money to charity but who doesn’t do that? When my friends ask for sponsorship, I always give my money to that.
What do you do to stay motivated?
Oh my goodness me! I am probably the worst person for this. People are going to read about me like “who the fuck is this?!”. At work, I just get on with it. I feel like if I don’t do something, nobody will do it. I don’t want it to get to the evening and someone asks about the end of day jobs and they are unfinished. I want to be there to help with them. It’s teamwork. We should all help out.
What was the deciding factor to pursue nursing?
Having my granddad live at home with us. He wasn’t that ill but it was that caring side that I had towards him. Saying that, he looked after me! But he had his problems. He was in and out of hospital. It’s strange how you pick a career and go for it.
How does your profession link to your personal life? How do you think it affects your sense of accomplishment day to day?
For me, working where I am now in children’s day surgery, I come home and don’t dwell on it because it’s not stressful. When I worked in A&E or the adolescent unit, I would bring a lot of that home because it was busy and challenging. I would have to wind down after it all. Now I come home, already calm, and have a nice evening. It’s nice when you get thank yous from parents and children when they’ve really appreciated your help. I am a caring person, I always put people first.
What is your “end goal” in terms of a professional target/life?
I always think I like to treat people how you would want to be treated. I want them to go away thinking I was nice to them today. There’s nothing worse than having bad comments about you. I want to go to work, do what I do and come home. I like what I’m doing in my role. I like my job! I’ve got to the point where I’ve left it too late in life to progress or push forward and do something else. I have become settled. I don’t want to step up and do the next thing. Why do I have to?
Hayley’s final 8 questions will feature on Saturday.
You can see more of what Hayley has been up to on her Instagram.
“I don’t think people realise how much it’s affected me because of how it happened.”
It felt natural that I moved from one close friend to another, someone who I don’t see enough of. Hayley has never been one to talk openly about her feelings and aspirations so these conversations felt needed yet organic. In this first part of her interview, Hayley discusses her time in the army, how the NHS has struggled duing COVID as well as just how much her friends’ deaths have affected her.
Hayley’s pronouns are “she/her”.
Before we start, let’s get to know you in 30 seconds.
My name is Hayley Joyce, if everyone wants to know that. I’m 29. I’m in my twenties, literally counting down the days until I’m old and then – mid life crisis. Shit! Anyway, I’m a nursing assistant in a children’s hospital and I work in day surgery so children will come in and have simple procedures then go home on the same day. I have a crazy dog called Daisy and a beautiful boyfriend who I live in Bristol with. Oh and I love musicals!
What do you do for a living? Is it your passion/something you really enjoy?
I guess a lot of people ask this question: “Am I in the right job? What would I do differently if I could pick anything?” The answer is: I have no idea what else I would do. Healthcare is all I have ever done. After leaving school, I went to college and did health and social care then I joined the army as a medic and then my path has followed on from that! I went to do health care at the hospital as a nursing assistant. I do enjoy it even though all of my friends think I don’t like children yet I work at a children’s hospital which sounds crazy but I think children are a lot easier to work with. In terms of working with adults in a hospital, it’s a lot more physical work (like personal care and mobility aid) but the parents are generally there with the children. Over time, I have grown to like children and I’ve had a niece and a nephew in the past few years so I know how to be around children now. Before, I was like “oh, here’s a baby. What do I do now it’s crying?!”.
Reflect on your mental/physical health. Do you look after yourself enough? What methods do you practice to ensure you’re well?
I love food. I am probably on the obese side if you saw my BMI but I’ve been taking part in a boot camp: Tom [partner] and I joined in July and we are still going. Everyone is surprised we are still committed. Four times a week I will exercise. I try to eat healthy but I love sweet things. Exercise is helping so I go for a lot of runs because it’s nice to be outside. All of the fitness classes are happening on zoom in my living room and I find myself getting lost easily so getting out helps to clear my mind.
Do you consider yourself to have a solid support network e.g big circle of close friends, great family etc?
Yeah, definitely. There’s a group of us that left school and we are still friends. With Jyothi passing away, we are so close and that brought us closer. We don’t see each other a lot but that has bonded us for life. Family too, yeah. Lockdown hasn’t helped. My relationship with my mum is a weird one and I have found it difficult not being able to see my family often. I have a great relationship with my dad and step-mum. Lockdown rules have meant I’m not seeing my nephew as much as I’d like. I like to think my family is supportive though.
Where do you find daily inspiration?
I would say I’m quite a boring person so this is hard. I just get on with it. What gets me out of bed in the morning? I don’t know! I just do it. I’ve got to pay bills and stay busy. That’s a bit of a shit answer, isn’t it? Maybe it’s something you do naturally and don’t really think about it. I like to keep busy and I get bored if I’m not doing something.
What type of relationship did you have with your family whilst growing up?
My parents separated when I was 5. My dad was always around but my mum’s dad lived with us: he was a role model for us growing up. He was a father figure even though my dad was around too. We loved my grandad and when he passed away it was really sad. I would describe my mum as not being motherly. We weren’t very huggy or kissy and we never had that relationship. She wasn’t someone I could go and talk to. We weren’t really like that. I think this is why I have developed quite a close relationship with my friend’s parents. Maybe I was looking for a bond that I missed out on.
What has your experience with COVID been like?
To be honest, it’s not actually been that bad. Especially working in the hospital, children haven’t been affected too much compared to adults. After the peak of Christmas and New Year, when the numbers spiked, children’s day surgery got cancelled in the middle of January and our ward turned into an adult in-patient ward to help out another hospital. They didn’t have any beds left. That was a big change and I hadn’t looked after adults for a very long time. It’s a 24 hour service and I worked every weekend. It was difficult because it was physically hard work: I would come home so tired and it was taking all of my energy. Being on your own as a nursing assistant is really hard because the nurses crack on and do meds on their rounds and you can feel alone. There were some really hard things which happened and that annoyed or upset me. I don’t know how I feel about it. If we had extra help, we could have met all of those needs. We could have helped more. That really frustrated me. But now I think to myself “maybe I’ve done something which helped others during COVID?” and I think I have. Home life has been fine. In the first lockdown, Tom and I argued over petty things but it’s definitely affected a lot of relationships. Nobody we know got ill from COVID, thank God.
What do you think is the first thing people notice/think about you?
I’m just so blunt. I say it how it is. Is that nice? I tend to think that people look at me and think I’m average: dark hair, average height. We all blend in the same. My personality shines through.
What is the biggest hardship you have faced in your life?
Friends’ deaths. It’s happened twice in my life and I’m not even 30 yet. I’m getting upset, I’m sorry. It’s coming up to an anniversary now and I think it will be one of those I’ll never be able to talk about without getting upset. I know she has loads to be remembered for but you can’t help think of the sad things. I’m crying about this so maybe I’m not dead on the inside. I don’t think people realise how much it’s affected me because of how it happened. We don’t know how it happened. It was in Canada but it wasn’t simple and we don’t have answers. It’s a bizarre story. It was the shock of it for me. With Rob, we knew he had cancer and we knew the diagnosis wasn’t great. It was still a shock but we sort of expected it because there was nothing else anyone could do. But this one, it was a shock. She was travelling, living her dream, seeing the world and then gone. You’ve got to be strong and it’s sad and I will have these moments where I’m upset but life does move on and you have to move forward. These people wouldn’t want me to live life as a miserable mess forever: they would be like “get out there and see the world!”. Jyothi enjoyed that and I want to be like that.
Hayley’s next 8 questions will feature on Wednesday.
You can see more of what Hayley has been up to on her Instagram.
EDIT: It seems wrong not to address the terrible news of Sarah Everard and the grossly corrupt situation when it comes to the state that England is in right now. I try my very best not to push any ideas or beliefs onto anyone in this little slither of the internet but, whilst celebrating so many women and openly discussing their fears and concerns for the future, I couldn’t bring myself to glaze over it. This should not have happened. And the police response just shows how much of a problem there really is. There is so much work to be done. But I hope that, on this bittersweet Mother’s Day, you can see that there is good in the world and, if we band together, we can make huge ripples of positive change in the world around us. I wanted to put this post out today of all days to shine a light on one of the many women who brings me endless joy and inspiration. I hope you have women like that in your life too. Listen to them, believe them, support them and celebrate them. We are in this together.
You will have to forgive this short, albeit necessary, introduction as I do not want to take the focus away from Alice but I feel as though I need to explain my thought process behind this next post.
After meaningful conversations with friends, I always come always feeling inspired; reflective and motivated. The same can be said for this blog. I get to listen back to the interviews, relive the memories, pick apart what people have said and ask the whole world to celebrate them with me. Once each post has gone live, I am thrilled that more people get to read about these incredible people and get a glimpse into what makes them human.
I invite you all into an open letter to each of my guests after their final blog has been posted. I want to outline what their slices of honesty mean to me and how they better help me to understand people. If nothing else, see this as a bookmark in their story.
Dear Alice,
Firstly, I want to say thank you for being my first guest for this project. I cannot think of anyone better to introduce to the world straight away. From the moment I told you I was pursuing writing again, I knew you would back me 100%. That loyalty is something I hope I echo in our friendship. Within the first hour of telling you my plan, you had already designed me a logo, given me advice on websites and offered your time. I cannot say how comforting it is to have a cheerleader like you. The way you talk about friends and friendships is inspiring and I can say, first hand, that you put your all into those around you. Through things like these conversations, I am starting to do the same.
You have known who you are since day dot and that was something I was incredibly envious of. I still don’t know who I am but to hear someone I love talk about themselves in a way that exudes confidence and sureness fills me with hope (and, above all else, joy). I have had the honour of privilege of watching you grow into the woman you are today and you put so much of that down to your family life and being dealt a “good hand”. Your modesty really shone through because you seldom mentioned the mind-blowing amount of hard work you continue to put into every project you start. Somewhere along the way, in a mere 27 years, you have found a balance between celebrating yourself and celebrating others without letting either be dimmed. That is something I am working towards.
Your approach to confrontation and honesty makes so much more sense to me now: knowing yourself the way you do stands you in good stead for unfamiliar circumstances. You always seem prepared and, maybe behind the surface that may not be 100% true but, whilst you are aware of how others see you, I don’t think you are phased by judgement. You have deep seated morals and beliefs which are unwavering and you have formed such solid circles around you because those like-minded people feel loved and wanted by you. Which we are. Talking to you always reminds me of why we have stayed such close friends for 15 years.
I could go on but, truthfully, I don’t want to make future features feel jealous. Just know that everything you do inspires me and so many others. Thank you.
You, of all people, know what it means to be; Alice.
“I am one person. You are with me or you’re not. It’s exhausting to pretend you are one facet all of the time. I am 100% Alice.”
In these final 8 questions, Alice opens up about her feelings towards death, her hopes for the future and the power of the colour red. She also takes time to reflect on the music that has shaped her and discusses her forks in the road that led her to where she is now.
Alice’s pronouns are “she/her”.
What is your biggest fear? How do you prevent that from taking over?
I don’t know if it would be dying. I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily loneliness either because I think “would it be death or would it be other people dying and then it’s just me left?”. Once you’re dead, you’re just worried about being worm food. It wouldn’t be failure. I’m saying what it wouldn’t be! It would be to be left with nothing. And that’s not to do with material possessions. I enjoy my own company but I am a sharer. This is hard!
What is something you really want to do that you’re not doing? Why aren’t you doing it? What can you put into place to achieve it?
I’m not selling myself. Everybody in the world is encouraged to have separate lives. You have your personal life, you have your professional life, you have your friend through hobbies and they are all separate. I have been thinking a lot about this recently: I am one person and I am someone on the precipice of changing careers. What’s interesting to me is that I am not just Alice Thomas, the design graduate. I am Alice Thomas, the creative in so many other ways. I have a podcast, I have a YouTube channel, I create linocut prints. To sell myself as just one of those facets is to sell myself short. A lot of people say to be successful you have to have that one thing that you talk about and do but I am not two dimensional. I am a dodecahedron! Something physical to answer your question is a website. For such a long time I have been stewing with “am I going to have three separate websites to talk about what I want to talk about on the internet? To sell myself as a designer; to talk candidly about my life; to review things; to talk about my podcast; to sell my prints”. I am one person. You are with me or you’re not. It’s exhausting to pretend you are one facet all of the time. I am 100% Alice.
What type of outlook on life do you have? Where do you think that comes from?
I think I’m a glass half full type of gal. I think I’m a yes person. I feel like my outlook is positive. I’ve been dealt some pretty good cards in my life but I also am not afraid of hard work either. I have been taught the importance of being proactive and persevering in whatever it is you wish to do. That’s not to say there aren’t negative moments. There are times of sadness and despair but life is nuanced and complex. I still have hope and I have hope for my fellow man too.
What book/album/film has changed your life? What did you take from that?
Only one? How dare you! Do you not remember earlier when I said my mind was busy all the time and now I have to pick one?! The thing that has come to mind is “Folie A Deux” by Fall Out Boy. But there is also Donnie Darko. I would say Fall Out Boy. Why I feel like I connected with Fall Out Boy’s music on the level that I am is that the lyrics were always smart and it was never face value. It was introspective whilst exuding confidence. Je ne c’est quoi! It was emotive and provocative: it was intelligent and personable. For me, “Folie A Deux” is Fall Out Boy’s best record because it just encapsulated who they were.
What song should we listen to whilst reading this about you?
“Over Yet” by Hayley Williams. It’s featured on her first solo record which came out last year. It’s a break up album but “Over Yet” is a song about perseverance. It’s about self love and inspiration and moving forward. It describes resistance as something positive to help you move forward and give you friction to rub up against. It’s a song of hope and I am hopeful for the future.
Name five beautiful things in life. Tell me why you think they are beautiful.
Building relationships of any kind can be very beautiful: putting time, effort and love into a relationship with another person is profoundly beautiful. The way we communicate is unique and when you get to fully explore that with someone or a number of people, it can have a profound effect on your life. A sense of accomplishment: I don’t meaning being a CEO. It could be something as simple as climbing a hill or seeing through a task. Feeling accomplished even in the small things, even in the mundane, is definitely something that makes you appreciate life. In the first lockdown, I completed “Bop It” which I didn’t know you could do! It sounds silly but sometimes succeeding at something as silly as “Bop It” can bring so much joy and overwhelming positivity to your life. Nature is beautiful. I think we have been blessed with a wonderful planet which is so diverse in its landscape but also the people in it. Endeavouring to explore as much of it as you can, along with the viewpoints of other people, can only be a positive thing. I am at my happiest when I am travelling and experiencing it with other people, building memories. I love discovering the new. The world and nature is so beautiful and it’s there to be explored. Photobooths. I love photobooths. I fucking love a photobooth! I actually love them. Everybody has a pocket computer with two cameras and the consideration of taking a photo of a moment in time is lost because you are taking 1000 photos of the same thing. Somewhere like a photobooth – you have four shots. I find that I have never regretted getting in a photobooth. They are really underrated. I look forward to a day where I can get back in a photobooth and take some silly snaps. The colour red. Not only is it my favourite colour, but it is attributed to the deepest of human emotion. Love, anger, fury, passion. But also embarrassment. Intimacy. I find the colour red is so bright and demands to be seen. You don’t ignore red! It also comes up so much naturally. It’s not like a fluorescent pink that’s man made. It’s everywhere.
If you could sum up your life so far in one word, what would it be and why?
Atypical. I had a phrase – “off the beaten path” – which isn’t strictly true. Atypical sounds accurate to me because, whilst I fit a mould of certain tropes of a white woman growing up in Britain, I think it’s not necessarily a traditional trajectory that I have found myself on and that’s deliberate. That’s a choice. I think several times in my life I have looked and seen almost a fork in the road and I had to make some decisions of where my life is heading and whether that is what I want. I feel like I have often, I don’t want to say “gone against the grain” because I really have lived an arguably comfortable life. I really haven’t wanted for a lot. I have been very fortunate in several facets of my life but I feel like everybody comes up against the forks in the road and I have always chosen the one that my gut has told me to do. It might not have been logical or the typical falling in line but I find I have always gone with what my innards are telling me. There’s a lot to be said for my gut feeling. I don’t quite know where it’s led me just yet but it’s got me so far and we’ll have to wait and see. I wonder what the next 27 years will lead to.
What do you think the meaning of your life is?
To communicate. That is building connections between other people.
After talking through everything, what have you learnt about yourself and your life? What do you feel the need to reflect on?
It’s very coherent, surprisingly coherent! Irrespective of the tributaries of my life, there are common themes that run throughout. I’m on the right track baby, I was born this way.
My reflection on Alice’s interview will go live tomorrow.
You can find more of Alice on her YouTube channel, Twitter and Instagram. She is also contactable through her website here.
“I think that all the bad in the world is down to miscommunication.”
This time around, Alice opened up about her tumultuous journey through higher education, the importance of integrity in everyday life and her dream career as well as how physically planning helps her stay motivated.
Alice’s pronouns are “she/her”.
What does a regular day in Alice’s mind look like?
I don’t think my mind is ever quiet. I don’t have any moments of, I don’t want to say peace because I am at peace with myself, but my brain is not very peaceful. It’s always going on up there. When I get into a task, I can be very one track minded. Particularly if I am creating, I am into it – that’s what I’m doing. What’s so funny is that I feel like I’m such a person that has succumb to media so I really do make a concerted effort if the thing in which I am focusing on is a person to not have a phone/television because I am such a goner with other distractions. In my mind, I don’t think it’s ever quiet and I am always thinking about multiple things like the next steps for moving forward. I feel like I’ve got a never ending to-do list in my head. That’s just not professional life, hobbies outside of work or friends. It’s all going on the same list. But it doesn’t feel overcrowded: I’m not upset with how things are. One does get overwhelmed every now and again but I like being busy. I am a proactive person. My mind has got hustle and bustle about it, that’s what I’ll say.
What part do relationships and love play in your daily life?
I think they play an integral role. I think a big positive of mine is the fact I have been able to cultivate and juggle a lot of meaningful relationships whether they are romantic or platonic. I have people I have been friends with since I was 3 years old that I still speak to regularly. I feel for the most part, with the people that I have wanted to, I have been really able to continue cultivating a long lasting and meaningful relationship with them. I love that I have a lot of friends and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am thankful for each and every one of them. In regards to that, I feel like they play a massive part in my life. If anything good or bad happens, I want to celebrate or commiserate with the people around me and I like to think that I am somebody who is good at articulating but also good at listening. Linking to me enjoying graphic communication, I think communication on any plane is integral to serendipity or success. Nirvana! Because I have been lucky enough to surround myself with wonderful people, I would never go a day without speaking to one person. I cannot see that happening.
What aspect of friendship do you value the most?
Integrity. There would be honesty, loyalty and sincerity. I can have a laugh and kick back! But I feel like I’m very sincere with what I say to those that I care about. For the most part, I’m somebody who doesn’t shy away from confrontation. I don’t like elephants in rooms. I want to know where I stand. It comes down to the perception of self. For me, with any type of interaction with anyone (sounds very broad) I am happy for you to judge me on decisions I have made when I have all the information. What I worry about is my decisions being judged if I don’t have all the pieces of the puzzle. If I don’t have the truth, how can I react to a situation authentically if I have in turn not been given authenticity? For me, integrity in any relationship is important. I feel like I’m quite a proud person which has its pros and cons, honestly. I am somebody who walks with their shoulders back, comfortable in who they are. I don’t want to say “life” taught me that but I guess in the words of Fall Out Boy “sometimes the only pro to having any faith is when it’s tested again and again”. Whether it’s work, people, whatever – you are always being challenged about who you are and what you bring to the table. It’s through being challenged and being dealt the cards of life that you better understand where you fit into this dumpster fire. I think there’s an aspect of innate confidence and I don’t feel like I’ve ever been a shy person. That’s not to say that I don’t get anxious or apprehensive but I have never in my life let that get in the way of what I want to do. Never in my life have I copped out of doing something because I was scared. Everybody has feelings of doubt and that is what a support system is there for. I don’t think I surround myself with yes men and, if I ask somebody’s opinion, I want their opinion and I am asking them because I respect that. And absolutely I will have a “what the fuck am I doing with my life?” moment – everybody has existential crises every now and again but I think that if you just give up then… what is there?
What do you do to make a positive impact on the world/others around you?
I’m a vegan? Is it that?! I’ve been a vegan for so long that it doesn’t feel like a conscious decision anymore. It’s become so ingrained in my life – you never want to say never but the best way for me to describe my outlook on veganism is when it comes to meat and dairy products the juice is never worth the squeeze to me. Did you know that quarter pounder burger creates the same amount of emissions as a flight from London to Malaga? Beef is horrendous for the environment!
What do you do to stay motivated?
Staying motivated is an interesting way to put it because I don’t think anybody always stays motivated. I think motivation comes and goes. But I guess to maintain motivation would be recognising and celebrating the small wins and the steps that you’re taking towards whatever your goal may be. Sometimes, myself included, you can try something once or return to something and it doesn’t go quite how you planned so then you’re like “well, I’m never going to do that again” but that’s just not productive. So I think taking stock and celebrating what you’re doing and how far you’ve come [is great]. More of a practical thing is I love a good planner. I love to have both a physical planner as well as digitally on my phone so guess knowing what time I have to do what, when I have that time, gives me something to look forward to and work towards: chiselling out time for myself when I can get creative. I think there is definitely a lot in habits and reflexes that you introduce into your life and just keeping at it.
What was your deciding factor to pursue your hobby as a career?
For me, it happened twice. Graphic design was something I was interested in in my early teenage years. I really enjoyed communicating and people communicating graphically. I think AdLand and communication, whether it is for a commercial purpose or otherwise, it has always been incredibly interesting to me. I like the saying of “a picture tells a 1000 words”. I don’t consider myself an illustrator; rather a creative, a designer and a print maker. I wouldn’t consider myself an artist or illustrator by any stretch of the imagination. Graphic design is something that can be shown to so many people and it’s just a really efficient way of doing that. I guess when I was in school and considering that, it really spoke to me and I really enjoyed it. I did the traditional trajectory of somebody who wishes to follow design: I went to London where the streets are paved with gold. Even when I was going to art school (in 2012), even before then, London was out of its heyday. Typically, in ye olde times, it was very much “you go to London and become a graphic designer” and that’s what I got in my head as to what I was to do and so I jumped through the hoops necessary for me to get there and go. However, when I did get there it wasn’t what I thought I had signed up for. I was not a good fit for the course I was on and you have a bit of an identity crisis when that happens. I had spent years working towards this goal and I had seemingly got there but in actual fact, I was miserable. I went to university there for a year and then I moved back home and now, being outside of finishing my undergrad in the same subject, for me it was never something for me that I thought I lost. I think my initial higher education experience dulled the shine but i wouldn’t say it snubbed out the spark for it either. I was perfectly happy being an adult for a while – earning money and spending money – learning what it is to be in the working world. I got a part time job in coffee at 16 and I never planned it would go the way it would. I planned on being there for a few years to support myself through university and arguably that is what I have done. The second time, I had just got out of a long term relationship and moved back in with my parents. I would say after a few months, I was starting to think about what my next moves were. It was always in the back of my head to potentially go back to school and I think, for me, whilst I wasn’t 18 anymore, I thought to myself “well, I’m not married, I don’t have children or a mortgage. If I want to go back to art school, if not now, when?” so I ended up going back to school at 24. So I would say then! Does that answer the question?!
How does your future profession link to your personal life? And how does it affect your sense of accomplishment day to day?
I think what is interesting about people’s sense of accomplishment in a capitalist society is that often your job is well intertwined with how you feel about yourself as a whole. I really wish I was the type of person who earnt money to live but then how I did that didn’t necessarily bother me and then I just made money when I needed money and lived more of a nomadic existence. However, I don’t have the balls to do that! I think for me with a dream scenario what’s really interesting in the language that we use like “work life”, “home life” and “romantic life” – it’s all the same thing really. I think everybody is struggling to find that balance between what they do as a living and how they choose to live. I would like to think that even if I were to be in the position that I want to now, I would have a balance. An equilibrium is paramount when it comes to living.
What is your end goal in terms of your professional life?
I would love to be paid to create and communicate what I want. Ideally, in a perfect world, I would love to be one of those people that people question “how the fuck did they make money?” [laughs]. I think for a while I wanted to work in a design agency and do the traditional trajectory of a designer but the more I think about it, I feel I’m a lot less commercial. I just enjoy creating and having a creative outlet and an audience that is appreciative and wants to respond to it. One brilliant thing about the human race is our capacity to communicate and being able to do that creatively is something that I am incredibly drawn to. That is a cog in a machine that I am happy to be a part of. I think that all the bad in the world is down to miscommunication.
Alice’s final 8 questions will feature soon.
You can find more of Alice on her YouTube channel, Twitter and Instagram. She is also contactable through her website here.
” I had to pretend that everything was fine and be a face for this company that I was really struggling with. I felt like I had been chewed up and spat out. Even today, it still hurts.”
It seems fitting that the first person we are meeting is somebody I have known for most of my life and, yet, when we started talking on a rainy February evening, I heard things I had never known about Alice. We touched on her passion for graphic design, what it means to be “COVID fine” and her decade long journey to becoming a Coffee Master.
These are the first 8 questions I asked Alice and, as always, we only touched the surface.
Alice’s pronouns are “she/her”.
Before we start, let’s get to know you in 30 seconds.
Hi! My name is Alice Thomas. I am 27 years old; born, bred and currently living in Bristol. I recently graduated from Bath Spa University – I got a degree in graphic communication. I am awaiting a design residency which is in collaboration with the university and that’s really exciting. I’ve also worked in coffee for 11 years and am a coffee ambassador for the south west of England which means I talk about coffee so you can make me a coffee and we’ll talk about it all day.
What has your experience with COVID been like?
A bit dogshit. Would you like me to elaborate?! So, I feel like there’s this new term of “COVID fine” in the sense that, thankfully, all of my friends and family are still alive. Those that had COVID have been able to make full recoveries so that’s brilliant. I guess that’s what this really all comes down to. I still have a job, whilst I am currently furloughed and have been three times, I have something to go back to which not everybody has the luxury to say. But you know with the hierarchy of needs, I guess my core needs are taken care of however, the further you go up the pyramid, that’s where things are lacking. I am somebody who is incredibly social – I love spending time with people in my life and I’ve not been able to do that so that is something I have really struggled with. I also really enjoy travelling and going to other places with people and making more memories and. Also, my career has taken a hit as well. I graduated in summer 2020 and I had every plan to be in relevant employment associated with my undergrad and that has not happened. I’ve stayed in the same job role just because the creative sector is taking an absolute beating at the moment. I am not where I wanted to be in my career but I have a job so I am trying to look on the bright side of life. Things could be better…
Reflect on your mental and physical health. Do you look after yourself enough? What methods do you practice to ensure you are well every day?
Great question! I believe that my self care regime/journey goes in waves. I would say there are some times where I am really considerate of myself and considerate of how I am looking after myself both mentally and physically. But then there are times where that will slip and that is something that I, well…. it’s inconsistent. If you want it in one word, it’s “inconsistent”. But that is something that I am trying to work on. Physically? This month, I’ve not been working out a lot but I really am looking forward to getting in to doing some more yoga. I also follow a plant based diet which I think is great and I am really happy with that decision. I think mentally everyone’s a little bit fragile in the current circumstances and I am trying to look after myself as best I can.
Do you consider yourself to have a solid support network?
Absolutely 100%, I am really fortunate to both have an incredible relationship with both of my parents and my brother. I’ve got one older brother and I would say we are pretty close. I also come from a very typical nuclear family – my parents are still together after 30+ years – and I’m really thankful for all that they do. I cannot say enough good things about Mr and Mrs Thomas! I am really lucky in the friends boat as well. I have been so fortunate in my life to come across a myriad of wonderful people that I am proud to call friends. I feel 110% that I have wonderful people around me and I am wholeheartedly supported by the network that I was both with and have also gone on to cultivate myself.
What type of relationship did you have with your family whilst growing up?
I think overall a pretty positive one. I think that, as I said, as an adult I have a very positive and close relationship with my parents. I would say that everybody has growing pains as they are growing up and dealing with authority and change. I feel particularly my Dad and I would clash quite a lot simply because we are both quite headstrong people. If that’s the tea that you are after! My dad and I are very similar so when we are on the same page, we can have a laugh but often if we are at loggerheads, I wouldn’t want to be caught in the crossfire. Overall growing up, my parents provided for me everything that they could – I come from a working class family but we were lucky enough to have a car and go on holiday once a year. I think they are luxuries that people cannot afford so I am thankful for my upbringing.
Where do you find your daily inspiration?
I watch a lot of online video: I do enjoy YouTube as a platform. I think a lot of YouTube in greater media gets a lot of bad slack for eating tidepods or Logan Paul but actually if you dig deeper, I think online video is here to stay. I would say, as somebody who is a print maker, I really do enjoy inspiration through processes. I find that as someone who has done a creative subject at uni and wishes to pursue that further, that I find my creative ignition comes from within having a play and just doing: as Nike would say. Just scribbling stuff down or making prints or whatever, it often evolves as you continue to create so I find the creative process is very inspirational. I also love music and I listen to a lot of music so that has always been a big inspo for me.
What do you do for a living? Is it your passion?
I am currently a barista and coffee ambassador. I wouldn’t say it’s my main passion but it’s something that I am passionate about and do enjoy.
What do you think is the first thing people notice/think about you?
I am trying to think of how to answer this! I think people notice my hair because whilst it is (well, pink at the moment) very long, it’s typically a physical attribute that people will talk to me about. If I’ve got my hair down, they will mention my hair and ask if it’s real which is interesting. I think people think I’m personable and up for a chat or a laugh. I often find strangers telling me their life stories so that’s got to be a good thing, right? I’ve been told I’m a conversationalist.
What do you think is the biggest hardship that you’ve faced in your life so far?
Oooh! I think “biggest hardship” is objective but I think the thing that has hurt the most the longest would be when the store I worked in closed. I worked in the same coffee shop for 9 years and I put a lot of effort and hard work in there so to sit in a meeting and be told “sorry, it’s not making enough money” when you’ve put your heart and soul into something is a tough pill to swallow. I found the subsequent process of potentially being reallocated or made redundant very hard because also I’m looking at how am I going to support myself as a student (at the time). Not only was it a tough situation due to the status I had within the company I work for, I travel around for my job and administer training across the country. I had to pretend that everything was fine and be a face for this company that I was really struggling with and I felt like I had been chewed up and spat out. Even today, it still hurts.
Alice’s next 8 questions will feature soon.
You can find more of Alice on her YouTube channel, Twitter and Instagram. She is also contactable through her website here.
It’s a bleak Monday evening at the start of March 2021. I am writing this first post with determination, hope, passion, dedication and intent. It is a promise, not only to myself but to those around me, that things will get better.
I want to be upfront: this isn’t my first foray into blogging but this time it feels serious. I’m here for a purpose.
It’s time to open up conversations around mental health; early influences and the effect COVID has had on it; what mechanisms people have found and utilised to cope in such a tough time; where they learnt what they have; and so much more.
Every day, I count my blessings that I have such a solid support network around me and yet I find myself struggling to maintain these relationships. Conversations feel so exhausting when there is nothing to celebrate this far into a pandemic. So I am getting out of my comfort zone and opening up new discussions around the bigger picture: why people are the way they are.
Each week, I am going to shine a spotlight on someone I am lucky enough to call a friend. I want to share their story and dig deeper into who they are. Everybody deserves a chance to be heard and that is what we are doing here.
Finding out how to be human. Just how to be.
If one person takes one single thing away from this place, I will have done something right. Please do come along and join us for the ride. There’s room for everyone.
HOW TO BE; 