At the end of her interview, Hayley lets us know about her inability to pick a song to listen to, the beauty of women and just how many challenges she has overcome in her life so far.
Hayley’s pronouns are “she/her”.
What is your biggest fear? How do you prevent this from taking over?
It’s the little silly things. I don’t like frogs. They scare the shit out of me. I was traumatised by a frog. I remember when I was younger that there was a frog in the garden which jumped up my shorts. That traumatised me. Preventing it? I don’t even like to go near tadpoles or frog spawn. The only time I’ll go near a pond is at the zoo in that weird amphibian zone. I don’t like to get close but maybe I’ll have a look.
What is something you really want to do/start that you aren’t doing? Why aren’t you doing it? What can you put into place to achieve it?
I’ve always said I want to do hill walking. Like climbing mountains. Why haven’t I done it? COVID. Everyone uses that as an excuse because I could have done it a long time ago. I’m really bad at map reading. I know I have the ability to do it but I’d like someone to do it with me. I need to get going and practice building up to walking long distances. I need to do it and embrace it.
What type of outlook on life do you have? Are you naturally positive? Where do you think that comes from?
I’d like to say I’m quite a positive person but everyone has dips in their emotions. Maybe is it my upbringing? I’m a people pleaser and I like an easy life. Just get on and do it. I don’t like to make things challenging. Why would do something hard if there is an easy option? Why would you walk a mountain if there’s a flat route?
What book/album/film/artist has changed your life? What did you take from it?
I loved Harry Potter but that’s not real. I read the books then watched the films. I guess everybody wants to be a wizard secretly! Harry, Hermione and Ron – you want to be part of that group. Everybody loves Harry! Actually, I read Tina Turner’s book and loved it. It was really good learning about her background. Her abuse from Ike was awful to hear about. She’s a black woman who grew up in Nashville where she was discriminated against constantly and she had this drive to get her name big anyway. And now look at her! She had cancer and so much else happened. She survived and fought then got into Buddhism and that was her focus. I thought after reading it that maybe meditation is a good thing.
What song should we listen to whilst reading about you?
Everyone knows I’m a big fan of Dolly. But also Tina Turner “Proud Mary”. People would be disappointed if I didn’t choose Dolly though. [Ed: “This isn’t for other people though.”] Is it something from a musical? Dolly had this rags to riches story though. And I secretly love country music. But Miley Cyrus as well! Can you not pick it for me?
Name five beautiful things in life. Tell me why you think they are beautiful.
Dogs. When you’re out and about, you look at them and they make you happy. Some of them are really beautiful. You can watch them running around, enjoying life and it puts a smile on your face.
Family.
Friends, obviously.
Scenery. I love holidays and seeing new places.
Girls. You know when you see a really beautiful girl? That’s amazing. Maybe I say that from envy.
If you could sum up your life so far in one word, what would it be and why?
What came into my mind straight away is “challenging”.
That’s because I faced different challenges in so many different areas of my life. I had to make my dinner otherwise I went hungry. I had to wash my clothes otherwise I didn’t have any. Joining the army was challenging. Coming out of the army was a challenge. I had to adjust to civilian life afterwards. Going into work with children was challenging at the start but here I am 6 years later.
What do you think the meaning of your life is?
I’m approaching 30 and getting older so having children is still a decision to be made in my head. For some people, they really want to be a parent. But the meaning of my life? I don’t actually know.
After talking through all of this, what have you learnt about yourself or your life? What do you feel the need to reflect on?
I found these questions difficult because it makes you think about yourself and how you are. It is like interview questions: your positives and negatives. It’s made me think about why I do things and why I think a certain way. I know I’m a moody bitch and a bit selfish but this has shown me I’m not made of stone. There are emotions in there which get triggered by certain things. But I don’t like to face those triggers because I get upset and I don’t want to come across as an emotional person.
My reflection of Hayley’s interview will go live tomorrow.
You can see more of what Hayley has been up to on her Instagram.
HOW TO BE; 