Love Letter – HOW TO BE;

MORE LIKE HANNAH;

After meaningful conversations with friends, I always come always feeling inspired; reflective and motivated. The same can be said for this blog. I get to listen back to the interviews, relive the memories, pick apart what people have said and ask the whole world to celebrate them with me. Once each post has gone live, I am thrilled that more people get to read about these incredible people and get a glimpse into what makes them human.

I invite you all into an open letter to each of my guests after their final blog has been posted. I want to outline what their slices of honesty mean to me and how they better help me to understand people. If nothing else, see this as a bookmark in their story.

Dear Hannah,

Your interview was, hands down, one of my favourites. Not just because you are an incredible human with a staggering amount of wisdom but also because I got to relive all of the laughs, the silences, the inside jokes, the pensive pauses, the sideways glances and every other nuance that makes you an inspirational human. I hope that transcribed well to the blog and people got to know you on a certain level but, truth be told, this section is for me and I was full of joy writing out what you had said. Thank you for letting me in.

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment I felt such a connection with you but I often think back to working in Moles together, on cheese nights, and getting our absolute lives. I was a shy, recently outed, wildly unconfident little man but there you were: this absolute goddess who pranced around behind the bar, singing her heart out to Spice Girls. You took me under your wing and inspired me from day dot. You were unapologetically yourself and that gave me the drive to find myself too. Without even realising it, you inspire so many people just by being you.

I know you say you have lost a lot of confidence and self-esteem over the years but, even talking about who you were and how you were, we both know you can find that person again. She is in there – hidden underneath layers of rejection, COVID stresses, London lifestyle and adulthood responsibilities – and she is coming right back out. You have found the motivation to search for who you are and that takes a lot of courage, time, patience and desire. You have bucket loads. It’s brave to be so open about uncertainty and, again, that has only inspired me more to delve harder into my therapy; ask more challenging questions in my interviews; and reach out to friends for answers and support. Most of all, support.

The hardships you have faced up until now have certainly shaped you as a person but you still boast this warm, funny, positive, friendly personality. I am always in awe of you. The way you hold yourself – your physicality and sentimentality – is beautiful, even down to your laugh which fills me with joy whether it’s a hearty guffaw or a tiny giggle. You could have built up this hard exterior and refused to let anyone in but the fact that you walk with your head held high, proud of your journey, will always fill others with awe. It really hit home when you were describing your jigsaw like mind and how you piece together everything: I think so many other humans do that too and being so open about such a personal thing will undoubtedly help hundreds.

This sense of community you feel is obvious. You are helping others without even realising it and I have no doubt you will continue to do this so long as you find and follow what sparks joy and makes you happy. But you are already well on your way to that discovery and I am overjoyed that you are finding little victories on your way to the bigger picture.

You, of all people, know it means to be; Hannah.

All my love, always,

Mitch
xo

MORE LIKE KATIE;

Dear Kitty,

Who would’ve thought that we would be here? Six years after I professed my undying love for you and your music, and you took a chance on this friendship, we are closer than ever. And, honestly, I can’t imagine my life without you in it now.

The way you act, react and interact with humans inspires me every single day. You approach everything – head on – with charm, honesty, understanding, patience, heart and truth. I struggle to focus on even one of those traits and yet here you are, seasoned and incredible, utilising all of them in your every day life. You have the utmost faith and hope in people and I know the world could use a lot more of that. We have so many people to thank for you being the way you are but we are here to celebrate you.

You are always there for people: a shoulder to cry on; an ear to listen; a heart to sympathise; a question to challenge. You only want the best for those around you and that is crystal clear. It really struck a chord when you said you have so many different friendships and relationships. You are the unchanging factor – you are so many things for so many people and, in turn, they are so many things to you too. It takes a lot of work and effort to maintain all of this but you do it so effortlessly.

Music has been, and always will be, in your soul. It changes you and then the world around you. The way you pour every ounce of yourself into your music, and watch as it affects everyone else, is nothing short of wonderful. Hearing you talk about your passion and career in the way you do will inspire so many others and I am so honoured that you have let me share those conversations with others. I think music in the best medicine and you are a healer.

I am learning to be kind to myself and, even just from the end of your interview, it is clear that is something you are doing too. You never stop assessing and reflecting on who you are and I think that makes a great human. Your self-awareness, whilst perhaps too strong some days, allows you to understand people better and still celebrate yourself. That is something I am inspired by every day. I want to be more like you, I really do.

Thank you for these years of honesty, understanding, patience, heart, music, love, life, poetry, words and everything else in between. I thought I had reached a point where I couldn’t forge friendships like this anymore but you have let me see the light. And for that, I am forever grateful.

You, of all people, know it means to be; Katie.

All my love, always,

Mitch
xo

MORE LIKE STU;

Dear Stu,

It means the world to me that you would open up so honestly about the challenges you have faced in your life and then let them be shared for the world to see. I truly believe that the things you have spoken about have helped people already and that can only continue with more of these conversations.

As I said before, I have never really had a chance to connect with you on this level until now and this whole conversation felt genuine, respected and important: like reciprocal therapy. We both see things through a queer lens (well, moreso than the heterosexuals we are friends with) but your perspective is so strong and sure of itself – like you. I know you struggle with your confidence but, when listening to you discuss your passions and life, it’s clear that you want to be seen and heard and you definitely are. The way you support, encourage, empower and celebrate our community is nothing short of inspirational and I am learning to use my voice more to be heard. That is something you have taught me so thank you.

You have an unapologetic love for people and things which are important to you and you are not afraid to show your interest and support through any medium. From hearing about your history with your dad and your sexuality, it would be so easy to hold on to so much shame in your adult life but you have this sense of shamelessness (in the very best way) which allows people in. Your interests and intentions are clear, you wear your heart on your sleeve and you want to challenge others around you to better understand you and themselves. That takes real bravery and resilience, things you are well equipped with. You have turned these negative experiences into positive traits and that is something hard to teach but I am learning, alongside you.

Punka is a concrete legacy you will leave behind: not least the actual nights you have organised but the community that comes attached to it. You have made a safe space for us queer weirdos (queerdos?) and I only hope that one day you will recognise the importance of that. I wholeheartedly understand this imposter syndrome that you struggle with, I think we all do, but I like to think to that after reading through these interviews, you will see just how humble, gracious, loved and important you are. My respect for you continues to grow every day, especially after you let me into these nooks and crannies of your life.

We will continue to solider through this weird life together: as queer people, as lovers of Italian men and as friends.

You, of all people, know what it means to be; Stu.

All my love, always,

Mitch
xo

MORE LIKE HAYLEY;

Dear Hayley,

I wanted to preface all of this by saying I know just how hard you find it to talk about how you feel. It means the world that you let me open up these conversations with you and, even though they were challenging, share them with the world. The things you have to say are helpful and insightful to so many and pushing yourself past the point of comfort is how, I believe, we understand our humanity better.

That’s one of the reasons I wrote “brave” as one of your traits. It’s probably a word you wouldn’t ascribe to yourself but I truly see you as one of my bravest friends. The things you have done – from joining the army to moving to the NHS, from soldering (literally) through a rocky upbringing to learning how to cope with the loss of loved ones – are mighty and you have tackled each one with confidence and bravery. The world really could do with a lot more of your pizzazz and shine when it comes to adversity. I am truly inspired by your bravery and I only hope to emulate it in several areas of my life.

Having been close for so long, and dealing with so many hardships together (you were my first kiss after all…), I feel we are cemented. I might not see you for months at a time but, when we reconnect, it is exactly that – an honest re-connection. You make so much time for the ones you love and that is beautiful to see. Maybe you hit the nail on the head when you said that the lack of motherly love you received as a child has meant you are more of a mother figure to us all now. A boozy, loud, blunt mother but one we love all the same. You look after everyone in your life without even realising it and that is something you cannot teach. I am learning to be more considerate outside of my professional responsibility and you are a great role model for that.

You and I are both very hard on ourselves but I hope that after reading your interview back, you realise just how special and important you are. Sometimes it takes something like this to really understand how other people see you and what they admire. Nobody is frightened of emotions or vulnerability and knowing that we love each other in the same way has allowed me to reflect on how I open up to other people. You are always so honest but somehow manage to take feelings into consideration before you react. That takes a lot of practice but, through this friendship, you show me exactly how to do that.

It was a genuine pleasure to talk to you about these things and I don’t want you going away thinking you are boring or selfish. You are sure of yourself – you know what you like – and you are unapologetic about that. And nobody really knows the meaning of their life: it’s just great to see you working toward figuring out who you really are. I couldn’t admire you any more than I already do.

You, of all people, know what it means to be; Hayley.

All my love, always,

Mitch
xo

MORE LIKE ALICE;

EDIT: It seems wrong not to address the terrible news of Sarah Everard and the grossly corrupt situation when it comes to the state that England is in right now. I try my very best not to push any ideas or beliefs onto anyone in this little slither of the internet but, whilst celebrating so many women and openly discussing their fears and concerns for the future, I couldn’t bring myself to glaze over it. This should not have happened. And the police response just shows how much of a problem there really is. There is so much work to be done. But I hope that, on this bittersweet Mother’s Day, you can see that there is good in the world and, if we band together, we can make huge ripples of positive change in the world around us. I wanted to put this post out today of all days to shine a light on one of the many women who brings me endless joy and inspiration. I hope you have women like that in your life too. Listen to them, believe them, support them and celebrate them. We are in this together.

You will have to forgive this short, albeit necessary, introduction as I do not want to take the focus away from Alice but I feel as though I need to explain my thought process behind this next post.

Dear Alice,

Firstly, I want to say thank you for being my first guest for this project. I cannot think of anyone better to introduce to the world straight away. From the moment I told you I was pursuing writing again, I knew you would back me 100%. That loyalty is something I hope I echo in our friendship. Within the first hour of telling you my plan, you had already designed me a logo, given me advice on websites and offered your time. I cannot say how comforting it is to have a cheerleader like you. The way you talk about friends and friendships is inspiring and I can say, first hand, that you put your all into those around you. Through things like these conversations, I am starting to do the same.

You have known who you are since day dot and that was something I was incredibly envious of. I still don’t know who I am but to hear someone I love talk about themselves in a way that exudes confidence and sureness fills me with hope (and, above all else, joy). I have had the honour of privilege of watching you grow into the woman you are today and you put so much of that down to your family life and being dealt a “good hand”. Your modesty really shone through because you seldom mentioned the mind-blowing amount of hard work you continue to put into every project you start. Somewhere along the way, in a mere 27 years, you have found a balance between celebrating yourself and celebrating others without letting either be dimmed. That is something I am working towards.

Your approach to confrontation and honesty makes so much more sense to me now: knowing yourself the way you do stands you in good stead for unfamiliar circumstances. You always seem prepared and, maybe behind the surface that may not be 100% true but, whilst you are aware of how others see you, I don’t think you are phased by judgement. You have deep seated morals and beliefs which are unwavering and you have formed such solid circles around you because those like-minded people feel loved and wanted by you. Which we are. Talking to you always reminds me of why we have stayed such close friends for 15 years.

I could go on but, truthfully, I don’t want to make future features feel jealous. Just know that everything you do inspires me and so many others. Thank you.

You, of all people, know what it means to be; Alice.

All my love, always,

Mitch
xo