Open Letter – HOW TO BE;

MORE LIKE KATIE;

After meaningful conversations with friends, I always come always feeling inspired; reflective and motivated. The same can be said for this blog. I get to listen back to the interviews, relive the memories, pick apart what people have said and ask the whole world to celebrate them with me. Once each post has gone live, I am thrilled that more people get to read about these incredible people and get a glimpse into what makes them human.

I invite you all into an open letter to each of my guests after their final blog has been posted. I want to outline what their slices of honesty mean to me and how they better help me to understand people. If nothing else, see this as a bookmark in their story.

Dear Kitty,

Who would’ve thought that we would be here? Six years after I professed my undying love for you and your music, and you took a chance on this friendship, we are closer than ever. And, honestly, I can’t imagine my life without you in it now.

The way you act, react and interact with humans inspires me every single day. You approach everything – head on – with charm, honesty, understanding, patience, heart and truth. I struggle to focus on even one of those traits and yet here you are, seasoned and incredible, utilising all of them in your every day life. You have the utmost faith and hope in people and I know the world could use a lot more of that. We have so many people to thank for you being the way you are but we are here to celebrate you.

You are always there for people: a shoulder to cry on; an ear to listen; a heart to sympathise; a question to challenge. You only want the best for those around you and that is crystal clear. It really struck a chord when you said you have so many different friendships and relationships. You are the unchanging factor – you are so many things for so many people and, in turn, they are so many things to you too. It takes a lot of work and effort to maintain all of this but you do it so effortlessly.

Music has been, and always will be, in your soul. It changes you and then the world around you. The way you pour every ounce of yourself into your music, and watch as it affects everyone else, is nothing short of wonderful. Hearing you talk about your passion and career in the way you do will inspire so many others and I am so honoured that you have let me share those conversations with others. I think music in the best medicine and you are a healer.

I am learning to be kind to myself and, even just from the end of your interview, it is clear that is something you are doing too. You never stop assessing and reflecting on who you are and I think that makes a great human. Your self-awareness, whilst perhaps too strong some days, allows you to understand people better and still celebrate yourself. That is something I am inspired by every day. I want to be more like you, I really do.

Thank you for these years of honesty, understanding, patience, heart, music, love, life, poetry, words and everything else in between. I thought I had reached a point where I couldn’t forge friendships like this anymore but you have let me see the light. And for that, I am forever grateful.

You, of all people, know it means to be; Katie.

All my love, always,

Mitch
xo

MORE LIKE STU;

Dear Stu,

It means the world to me that you would open up so honestly about the challenges you have faced in your life and then let them be shared for the world to see. I truly believe that the things you have spoken about have helped people already and that can only continue with more of these conversations.

As I said before, I have never really had a chance to connect with you on this level until now and this whole conversation felt genuine, respected and important: like reciprocal therapy. We both see things through a queer lens (well, moreso than the heterosexuals we are friends with) but your perspective is so strong and sure of itself – like you. I know you struggle with your confidence but, when listening to you discuss your passions and life, it’s clear that you want to be seen and heard and you definitely are. The way you support, encourage, empower and celebrate our community is nothing short of inspirational and I am learning to use my voice more to be heard. That is something you have taught me so thank you.

You have an unapologetic love for people and things which are important to you and you are not afraid to show your interest and support through any medium. From hearing about your history with your dad and your sexuality, it would be so easy to hold on to so much shame in your adult life but you have this sense of shamelessness (in the very best way) which allows people in. Your interests and intentions are clear, you wear your heart on your sleeve and you want to challenge others around you to better understand you and themselves. That takes real bravery and resilience, things you are well equipped with. You have turned these negative experiences into positive traits and that is something hard to teach but I am learning, alongside you.

Punka is a concrete legacy you will leave behind: not least the actual nights you have organised but the community that comes attached to it. You have made a safe space for us queer weirdos (queerdos?) and I only hope that one day you will recognise the importance of that. I wholeheartedly understand this imposter syndrome that you struggle with, I think we all do, but I like to think to that after reading through these interviews, you will see just how humble, gracious, loved and important you are. My respect for you continues to grow every day, especially after you let me into these nooks and crannies of your life.

We will continue to solider through this weird life together: as queer people, as lovers of Italian men and as friends.

You, of all people, know what it means to be; Stu.

All my love, always,

Mitch
xo

MORE LIKE HAYLEY;

Dear Hayley,

I wanted to preface all of this by saying I know just how hard you find it to talk about how you feel. It means the world that you let me open up these conversations with you and, even though they were challenging, share them with the world. The things you have to say are helpful and insightful to so many and pushing yourself past the point of comfort is how, I believe, we understand our humanity better.

That’s one of the reasons I wrote “brave” as one of your traits. It’s probably a word you wouldn’t ascribe to yourself but I truly see you as one of my bravest friends. The things you have done – from joining the army to moving to the NHS, from soldering (literally) through a rocky upbringing to learning how to cope with the loss of loved ones – are mighty and you have tackled each one with confidence and bravery. The world really could do with a lot more of your pizzazz and shine when it comes to adversity. I am truly inspired by your bravery and I only hope to emulate it in several areas of my life.

Having been close for so long, and dealing with so many hardships together (you were my first kiss after all…), I feel we are cemented. I might not see you for months at a time but, when we reconnect, it is exactly that – an honest re-connection. You make so much time for the ones you love and that is beautiful to see. Maybe you hit the nail on the head when you said that the lack of motherly love you received as a child has meant you are more of a mother figure to us all now. A boozy, loud, blunt mother but one we love all the same. You look after everyone in your life without even realising it and that is something you cannot teach. I am learning to be more considerate outside of my professional responsibility and you are a great role model for that.

You and I are both very hard on ourselves but I hope that after reading your interview back, you realise just how special and important you are. Sometimes it takes something like this to really understand how other people see you and what they admire. Nobody is frightened of emotions or vulnerability and knowing that we love each other in the same way has allowed me to reflect on how I open up to other people. You are always so honest but somehow manage to take feelings into consideration before you react. That takes a lot of practice but, through this friendship, you show me exactly how to do that.

It was a genuine pleasure to talk to you about these things and I don’t want you going away thinking you are boring or selfish. You are sure of yourself – you know what you like – and you are unapologetic about that. And nobody really knows the meaning of their life: it’s just great to see you working toward figuring out who you really are. I couldn’t admire you any more than I already do.

You, of all people, know what it means to be; Hayley.

All my love, always,

Mitch
xo